What is WITH us??

Our Generation, that is. A generation i had previously held in highest regard, for being the most gay (Queerness being less of a stigma and more of a social commodity, akin to owning Louis Vuitton luggage), the most feminist (to a fault, even), the most political (arguably), I suddenly and without pause realized today: I am either caught between generations or you all everybody are skin crawlingly immature.(Forwarning: I mean this only in a Fashion sense)

To wit:

I may, in the near future, have a wedding to go to (I am not cutely alluding to mine own, fear not) and decided with set jaw to find a dress that costs more than 30 dollars, is made of real materials, and does not come from a place that is near another place that sells "ice cream from the future".

Being the lazy ass my baby boomer parents raised, I went straight to my teacher and lover, The Internet.
........And all I found were "logo tees", "terrycloth hoodies", "camis" (boys, that is the tank top your girl wears under one of those whoreish see-through tops that usually ends up on your floor) and of course, slut underwear.

Seriously, I've long ago resolved myself to cotton underthings (to the surprisingly massive delight of both male friends and my washing machine alike). The rest of my peers seem to think rayon underwear with monkeys and duckies and butterfly jewels on the ass triangle part that sticks out of your whore jeans are all acceptable. But I digress.

I flashed with lividity at the websites that were NOT HELPING ME.

I mean, I just wanted a pretty dress and had to wade through Paul Frank monkey head socks and Hello Kitty wallets. And when I did see a link on certain sites to "dresses" I was lead to a place of either obscene (even for ME) cleavage-baring-synthetics or hipster button down courdoroy jumpers.

What REALLY brings me to my usual exasperation? I went to the site of a very expensive clothing line, Anthropologie, and found a beautiful dress (for $300...still sitting on that one) and decided to occupy myself with some tops whilst thinking about making the purchase. I scanned over the link list again and again, not finding "tops" or even "shirts", refusing to believe this place wouldn't sell me a nice long sleeved sweater or some such. And then I realized...the link was marked "Blouses". I have never, in my life, refered to anything on my torso as a "blouse". I have never found a catalog geared towards my born in the 80s noggin with "blouses" in the table of contents.

Or COURSE it's a fucking blouse! That is the true fashion term for it! Not a "tee"! Forever, these items have been marketed to us as "tops"!! Because we are STUPID! Because we have been CODDLED in our little fashion world! The 80s kids learned to sew, the 90s kids went vintage! Our style icons include Britney "I'm Country" Spears, Ben "I'm so lazy my girlfriends dress me" Affleck and Christina "I even DRESS like I have herpes" Aguilera.

My God...my mom was right...my belly is over-bared...

We are totally the worst! Who else but Generation Y would, without irony, wear a "Free Martha" t-shirt to an AIDS Awareness walk (seen on NY1, not kidding)?

What is WITH us?? What of our FUTURE??

Think on it: Your look in your 20s and 30s is pretty much what you stick with for the rest of your life. The grandmas with mile high blue hair and voluminous "blouses" are holdovers from the early 1960s. Your mom probably does that blow dried teased bangs thing she perfected in her 1986 heyday.

Will I be wearing an ironic t-shirt and chuck taylors to my adopted daughter's high school graduation? Hair pin straight, jeans low at the waist? Or, worse, a $40 polyester dress bought at the shop next door to Auntie Anne's Pretzels?? Sheesh. I shiver.

Let us get together, ersatz goths, the second wave of metal heads, the greasy haired hipsters, the very last of the potheads to enjoy Sublime, and buy a nice coat. If I see one more of you cats with a CBGBs shirt on, I may remove my own head.

The dress? Remains unbought (here it is though: http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=11727&itemType=PRODUCT&iSubCat=297&iMainCat=17 ) but I just couldn't let a blog go unblogged. I leave you,

Straddling the gap between "Cute" and "Chic",
R.A.D.

(Editors note: I bought a kimono instead...so much for growing up. Gonna go play Geisha now. SAKE!!)