Career Meltdown Reached (Hers, not mine)

Well, it official. The public as a whole cares nothing for Britney Spears anymore.

Case in point: She had a baby. Chica had a BABY for god's sake! Another heir to the throne of empty Cheetos bags and spare tires. And? No. One. Cared. Not AOL, not Yahoo News, not even the many many many blogs I troll on a regular basis. How, you ask, did I found out? It was a sidebar in the Long Island edition of Newsday. Along with a picture of BritBrit looking like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. (please picture a jowly young woman with a greasy toothy smile and breasts of unusual proportion)

It was another boy, as yet unamed. And no one cares.

But why not? We collectively yearn for the implosion of her marriage, drool over her steady downfall to hell in a handbasket of hair extensions, and buy magazine whose cover she graces semi-naked and kind of ickily preggers. And the culmination of it all stirs not a single member of the press. I even watched The View today, those possessed clucking chickens that sound like tea kettles, and even those prying harpies didn't mention it! God dammit I wasted 15 minutes of life on The 4 Dyke-ateers!

What now? She can't sing for fear of popping her stiches (well, she couldn't anyway, but you get it), and assuming she's still doing her own make-up and swiffering her own cottage floor, she may not sing for a long time.

Jesus. She was everything! She was the cutest thing ever! Justin, Rolling Stone, GQ, MTV! All hers!

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS!?

It's true. It wasn't K-Fed, it was the babies. We would have been delighted to watch her drop wine glasses and strip on table tops and publicly fuck her boyfriend (don't deny it, you'd buy that issue of USweekly for SHIZ.), but the babies, as amusing as it is to see them bruised and bounced and hurled off ten story buildings, are boring.

She was America's Sweet Piece of Ass, he America's Sweet Piece Of Ass' Stubbly Plaything.

The babies? They're just babies.

Here's hoping at least one of them is The Omen or something.

Hit My Baby One More Time,
Rosa