The Seinfeld Conundrum.


This one may hurt. What I'm about to say may not even make sense to some of you. I expect you might what to sit down, or something.

I Hate Seinfeld.

Then again, I realize, there are a lot of you that agree.

I almost got fired/thrown out a 6 story window when I uttered my hate at work. Several males and females my age kind of looked at me as though I just told them I invented 'shotgun legs' or something. One girl even declared that she may have to stop liking me. And I am CONFUSED. What The Fuck? It's the kind of reaction one would expect from a racial slur or somesuch... I slurred a comedian.

And to this I say: I stand by my comment. Because I don't know of anyone who was born in the 80s and grew up here that enjoys the show.

And I also say: I think it's a New York City thing.

Seinfeld (do I really have to explain it? Non-Fiction Writing 101 says yes.) is a show about 4 jerks who do nothing with their lives but continually fuck it up royally. It is not a show about nothing, asses. It's about what I just said. And NYCers basically see that on the 4 5 6 line every morning. See, the thing is, everyone at my job my age didn't grow up here. It's an interesting point. Small towns don't have as much jerk tomfoolery as the big bad apple.

Moreover, I find that people my sister's age (29 and holding?) can't get enough, watching the reruns whenever they're on (400 times a day on 3 channels) and constantly quoting episodes. The jerkness, obviously, was funny to them. Jerkness in the 90s was perhaps at an all time low. I blame grunge. The Gen Xers were too busy crying about Kurt to be jerks, I guess.

But we 18-30 year olds, on the other hand, had to suffer the dot com fools and all the subsequent "entrepreneurs" that came along. and watching a bunch of jerks (sorry for the overuse, Roget's has no synonyms for it.) talk about breasts, diaphragms, mangoes, puffy shirts, bread (specifically, rye), Superman and JFK Jr. is nothing short of infuriating! Because they keep fucking it up somehow!

I realize, America, that this is the very point the show has blossomed from. And I hate it. Perhaps if it was a little more madcap, a little more "Reno 911"?

The conundrum continues, however, because our demographic? LOVES "Curb Your Enthusiasm"! Larry David is the mother and father and perhaps even godfather of Seinfeld. However, I feel Larry filters his jerkness through the aformentioned madcappery I requested, thus make the jerkitude a little more...adorable. We like adorable. See: Inexplicable success of Dakota Fanning. Lack of canned laughter probably helps. Lack of a parade of jerk friends, instead replaced with a long suffering wife helps, too. She suffers WITH us!

In all, I'm waiting for the day when another "timeless" sitcom begins the syndication rounds ad-infinitum. Just so I don't have to accidentally come across George Constanza's annoying parents during my dinner. Because let me tell you, nothing ruins a meal like kvetching.

As long as It's not Sex and The Annoying Bitches with Fucking Stupid Shoes.